


空白（Blank Space）

by xLightningToki



Series: Post-SAO Chronicles (a.k.a. Eugeo’s post-canon adventures) [1]
Category: Sword Art Online (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Gen, Platonic Life Partners, Post-Canon, Resurrection, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-14 19:20:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18482728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xLightningToki/pseuds/xLightningToki
Summary: …If your smile became mine, would I still be able to live without a care in the world? If your future became mine, would I be able to change the course of destiny?I just want to indulge myself in the past, because I don’t want to forget you.※※※Kirito’s scattered thoughts about his best friend and partner.Based off of the song『空白』by Kanzaki Iori.





	空白（Blank Space）

**Author's Note:**

> I haven’t written a story in a while, but I wanted to contribute something to the SAO fandom. Eugeo has practically become one of my favorite characters, if no one has noticed.
> 
> It turns out that Eugeo CAN be revived, according to hidden clues in the light novels and Kawahara Reki’s most recent interview. Fluctlights in the Underworld are not deleted, but they can be reincarnated. I just went ahead and wrote about Kirito’s possible thoughts prior to this.
> 
> This story is based off of the Vocaloid song『空白』by Kanzaki Iori. The song can be found on his Niconico and YouTube channels. However, the lyrics have not yet been translated into English, so the story might be rather difficult to understand without knowing the lyrics. I apologize in advance.
> 
> The relationship between Kirito and Eugeo can be interpreted as either platonic or romantic—whichever you prefer.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I don’t own _Sword Art Online_ or any of its elements whatsoever, just this story.  
> ※Please do not reprint without my permission.※

Some nights, I have this dream.

　　I’m inside a vast clearing, surrounded by towering trees and multicolored wildflowers. I see stones carved by crystal clear creeks, and golden sunrays seeping through the trees’ canopies.

　　My stature is shorter than what I’m used to. I sit on the fresh green grass, which is coated by morning dew. A girl with long, fair hair and bluebell eyes sits on my right, and a flaxen-haired boy, whose face I cannot fathom, sits on my left.

　　We play and eat together as if we had known each other all our lives. The girl scolds the boy and me whenever we two end up wrestling each other. Our laughter rings in the air.

　　The dream always ends the same—the girl packs the remains of our lunch into her picnic basket, and the boy stands up and prepares to leave, his back facing me. I call for him, but he never responds. He just continues to march away, not once glancing back.

　　I well up, screaming his name and repeating over and over again, “Where are you going?” Then, when I’ve had enough, I plead while outstretching my hand, “Don’t leave me alone!”

　　Subsequently, I snap awake, taking in my new surroundings.

　　I’m no longer in a brilliant, cheerful clearing. Instead, I’m inside my bedroom in the middle of the night, lying on a bed that has been soiled by my sweat and tears.

　　I begin to hiccup, remembering that you—that flaxen-haired boy—are no longer sleeping beside me.

　　“Eugeo…”

　　My voice catches in my throat as I cry softly into my pillow.

* * *

When I log into ALfheim Online, I’m greeted by the warm smiles of my comrades. Asuna kisses me on the cheek and Yui tackles me in a bear hug, and my insides feel warm. We settle in quickly, discussing future quests and homework assignments.

　　Oftentimes, our conservations shift subjects. Whenever the Underworld—a virtual world overseen by Rath—is mentioned, I’m immediately reminded of you, and suddenly I feel as though a rock has settled deep into my chest.

　　I recall the two of us eating honey pies at the North Centoria Imperial Swordcraft Academy, and you breaking the Seal of the Right Eye to defend our valets. I envision you wielding the resplendent Blue Rose Sword, and your blinding smile as people compliment your skills. I imagine the sea reflecting off of your green eyes.

　　My dear sister Sugu—known as Leafa in ALO—can tell when my mind has gone elsewhere, for she gives me a pitiful look and squeezes my hand.

　　Alice, formerly the bright young girl from my dreams, sometimes asks about her childhood. Due to her forced synthesis into an Integrity Knight, all of her memories of her past had been robbed. I tell her about the village that she grew up in, its residents and her little sister Selka, and I smile as she fondly thinks of her only sibling.

　　I also ramble about you, the humble woodcutter who resolved to become a swordsman in hopes of searching for Alice. Then tears begin to well up in my eyes without my volition, and I can no longer squeeze out a noise from my throat.

　　Alice sobers up instantly and gently pushes my head to the crook of her neck. I know that she’s trying to help me even though she doesn’t remember anything about the boy who used to have a crush on her, and I know that she’s trying to understand my pain. She only remembers you as the one who sacrificed everything to defeat Quinella, but despite that, she’s aware of how much I cared for you.

　　 _Ah, it hurts, it hurts; it hurts so much; please make it STOP—_

　　She hugs me tightly as I drown in my sorrow. I vaguely realize that she smells of osmanthus as I hug her back and attempt to forgive myself for leading you astray, and I wonder if you smell of roses.

* * *

 _I would probably never see you again_ —that thought had constantly rung in my head for days on end. It’s difficult to talk about memories of you, so I stop sharing stories of our adventures, as most people probably wouldn’t understand what we had gone through. In fact, all of those promises that we had made long ago seem worthless at this point.

　　But even if I don’t talk about you, everyone notices that I can’t help but think about you. Asuna would gaze at me helplessly, wishing that she could absorb the aching in my chest, while Yui would simply close her eyes and shake her head.

　　I feel guilty for their concern, so eventually, I just continue to smile like I had done before.

　　Speaking of which, if your smile became mine, would I still be able to live without a care in the world? If your future became mine, would I be able to change the course of destiny?

　　I just want to indulge myself in the past, because I don’t want to forget you.

* * *

And there are times when I cling onto the hope that you are still alive.

　　After Tiese Schtrinen, your valet, mentioned you comforting her as she mourned in front of your sword, I wondered if you were still out there, watching over us like a guardian angel. After all, your memories had pushed me to continue living, and you had materialized in front of me and took control of your sword as I confronted Gabriel Miller.

　　Hey, Eugeo; I’m living to protect the people that I care about. I hope that if you’re watching us, you’re proud of me.

* * *

Then my dreams begin to change.

　　I’m sitting under a mesmerizing night sky, which is decorated by glittering stars and clouds. You lie down next to me in a bed of sapphire roses, holding your sword securely to your chest. Your eyes are firmly shut, and you never utter a sound. Everything else is also completely silent.

　　My fingers gingerly touch your hands. To my surprise, they’re warm.

* * *

Can you hear me? Without you here, I feel lonely. Tears roll down my cheeks as I go to sleep every woeful night.

　　But you wouldn’t want me to stay in this miserable state, so I’ll still live for you. See, this pain is proof that I am alive.

　　And I promise that I will remember you every time spring arrives.

* * *

While adjusting to your absence, I sometimes look outside my house’s windows at dusk to drink in the sky. There, I can compare some of my most important people to different celestial bodies.

　　Asuna is the sun—her warmth and her dazzling smile always make butterflies flutter in my stomach. Her comforting voice and kind gestures never cease to bring peace to me, and I can’t imagine a world without her.

　　Sugu is the moon—a constant companion whose shoulder is always ready to lean on. Resolute and willing to help, she’s continuously there to support me when I need it.

　　Yui is the cluster of stars in the sky, forever sparkling and bright. Not a day goes by without hearing her affectionately call for me.

　　But  _you_ , I don’t know. You never put me on a pedestal. You never treated me as if I were fragile glass. You let me act freely around you and you saw me as an equal.

　　And yet you’re also responsible for tugging at my heartstrings and manipulating my emotions every single day. Why, oh, _why_  do you have to do this to me?

　　Heh, I suppose that you’re my god in that regard.

* * *

One day, the impossible occurs and you’re brought back to life.

　　I won’t get straight to the details, but I can tell you that your revival wasn’t actually  _impossible_ , per se—it was just that Rath’s theory of Fluctlights being deleted was wrong from the start. I should have known after seeing the reincarnations of Ronie Arabel and Tiese. No one can eradicate a soul, but it can live anew.

　　All of the walls that I had built around my heart crumble down once my dark eyes meet yours, and I fling my arms around you. We’re both bawling, and you squeeze me tightly as you murmur apologies over and over again—about you dying in my arms, about leaving me alone, about making me cry and deal with the aftermath of our troubles without taking my mental turmoil into account.

　　I guess miracles do happen in the end.

　　“I don’t know how you can forgive me,” I remember you saying afterwards, “after all of the anguish that I had caused you. The first thing that I wanted to do upon waking up in this world was to find you, but now I… I…” You choke up. “I don’t understand why you’re not _mad_  at me. Why are you still so nice to me?”

　　I hush you soothingly, confirming your presence by pressing my hand to your cheek. You’re still sobbing, so I wipe away your tears, aware that you’re reaching forward to wipe away mine.

　　I can finally say the words that I wanted to tell you for so long.

　　“I forgive you for everything. And for the record, _welcome home_.”

* * *

Once we collect ourselves, I don’t hesitate in introducing you to my friends, and everything becomes a hubbub after that.

　　Asuna welcomes you to the group and thanks you profusely for always trying to protect me. Sugu cries rivers of relief, delighted that her brother’s best friend is back. Alice gives you a well-deserved punch on the shoulder before stating that she is truly glad that you are all right.

　　Sinon ruins the poignant atmosphere by telling you that you’ll find something “interesting” if you log into GGO. I shush her and attempt to steer her away, but the damage has already been done. Oh, well; you were bound to find out eventually.

　　Due to your amiable nature, you make friends with everyone on the spot. Of course, you’re still new to the ordeal of adjusting to the real world, so I grab your hand and squeeze it gently so that you can calm down.

　　You send me a grateful smile and squeeze mine back.

* * *

Time flies by as I learn new things about you, and then I realize just how much I care for you.

　　Don’t get me wrong; after all, there exists all different kinds of love in this world, such as the one for a lover towards Asuna, the one for family towards Yui and Sugu, and the one directed towards all of my friends.

　　But the love I have for you is complicated. I don’t know what kind it _should_  be—is it for a friend, a lover, a brother? You’re my best friend and partner, and I refuse to have you leave me again. That’s all that I can decipher at this point.

　　Nevertheless, there are some thoughts of you that are absolutely clear.

　　I have always hated you and liked you—your smile, your voice and your gentleness have brought about so much burden and joy into my life. I want to live like you do, always actively forward, never looking back. With any luck, I would gather the courage to tell all of this to you.

　　You may have once thought yourself as weak, but deep down, I understand how strong you have become. I hope that you accept this someday.

* * *

You, Alice and I (together nicknamed as the “Rulid Trio”) celebrate Alice’s birthday on April 9, and yours on April 10. You and I create picturesque flower crowns for Alice, and Alice and I buy you a camera so that you can document all of your experiences in the real world.

　　For both days, we spend the entire afternoon in the park. Alice twirls under a cherry tree, her golden hair shimmering like the sunshine. You eagerly snap pictures of our childhood friend as you and I sit comfortably on a nearby bench.

　　I watch you laugh sunnily, and then I remember my jumbled thoughts about you. Eventually, I decide that I don’t have to categorize my feelings about you; I will be by your side all the same.

　　I stare at my clasped hands, recalling the only time when I had seen you as an Integrity Knight, the time when everything had gone to chaos. Your dull eyes had told me that you wanted love, but no one had ever provided it to you. Was that how you really felt? Was it true that you had sought after praise and affection, even though you constantly gave them to those you held dear?

　　I want to get it back. I want to give you, who had nothing, everything that fate had robbed from you.

　　Noticing that you have taken a break from your photography frenzy, I ask, “So, how has your day been so far?”

　　You beam at me, and I swear that the sky has gotten clearer. “Everything’s wonderful. I haven’t been this happy in ages. _Thank you._ ”

　　Your gratitude is so sincere. “I barely did anything, though,” I reply.

　　“But you did, you and Alice both. You guys have made me the happiest man alive today.” You perk up. “In fact, I’ll pay you back on _your_  birthday; how about that?”

　　I snort. “I look forward to it, then.”

　　“Ha, ha!”

　　We fall into a comfortable silence, your words echoing in my ears. I thereby promise myself that I’m going to protect that smile of yours, and I want you to know that even if no one voices his or her love for you, platonic or not, I will at least do so.

　　It’s now or never.

　　I slide off the bench and kneel in front of you, covering your hands with mine. You blink in confusion, and I grin.

　　“Hey, Eugeo,” I say cheekily.

　　Your large, sea green eyes continue to blink at me, but you make no effort to pull away. “…Kirito?”

　　I inhale deeply, preparing to convert my true feelings— _all_  of our comrades’ true feelings—into words.

_I love you._

　　Grasping your hands, I finally declare, “There’s something that I have to tell you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is kind of late, but…happy birthday, Alice and Eugeo!
> 
> I’m honestly super happy that Eugeo has gained popularity among the SAO fandom, and I truly admire his friendship with Kirito. That’s why I decided to give the two a happy ending. A lot of characters have already suffered enough as of late.
> 
> This is the first time in a while that I have written in present tense, so please bear with me. …>_<…
> 
> Also, thinking of Eugeo seeing Kirito’s GGO avatar seems pretty funny… www


End file.
